4 years ago today!

4 years ago today I was sitting in Bible Study and I heard the Holy Spirit say, “Get a pregnancy test”.  I thought I was tripping until I heard it two more times. As I sat there the Pastor’s teaching changed from what he was originally talking about into how sperm travels to the egg. After going back and forth with myself, I finally decided to go get a pregnancy test. Still in disbelief I told myself that I would buy the test, but if it was negative I wasn’t going to tell my husband. But guess what? God is a keeper of His word. After I made my purchase, I went home and took the test and it changed quickly. That was one of the happiest moments of my life, especially after trying so long, plus the doctors told us we couldn’t have any and that we should just adopt. 

God is faithful you guys! Believe and trust in every word He has given you. Go back to those words and trust again. God is a promise keeper! Never forget that! No matter what you’re facing today or any other day, remember that God will not leave you and He always keeps His promises even when you don’t!

Be blessed!

“A Childless Mother No More” coming soon….

Open!

Never close yourself to the possibilities of life because what you thought didn’t come to pass! What you think may be a hold up can be you just getting closer to God! How wonderful is that! Get all you need from the Lord. Seek Him diligently! Keep your ear to His mouth! Return back to your first love! Watch your life turn around. It’s not always easy to put what you thought was it on hold. Just know that it will benefit you in the end! God’s promises to you are ye and Amen!

Coping with Barrenness

How do you cope with being barren when everyone around you has children? When everywhere you go you see pregnant women and babies, but most of all it’s at the forefront of your mind. Even when you’re not trying to think about it, it’s there.

How about those times when you really needed  someone to confide in about wanting a child, only for them to judge you, not understand you, brush you off, thought you were going overboard, and just let you down.

What many people don’t understand is that being barren is one of the hardest things for women to freely talk about. Being barren makes you feel worthless, embarressed, not a woman because God did say be fruitful and multiply. It makes you feel vulnerable. It makes you fearful and it throws a lot of your life off track.

I’ve been there ladies! Everything I just wrote I had to deal with on a regular basis. So right now I want to show you how to refocus,  put all your attention on God’s promises for your life. What has the Holy Spirit told you personally? Do you still believe it? Do you believe you can bare a child? Or are you afraid you may have a miscarriage again? Or afraid of what people might say because of your age? Where is your faith meter? Is it a 2? A 7? Where is it?

Build your faith back up ladies! Stop listening to what  doctors and people have to say and believe what the Word says. I challenge you to dig into your Bible and get a new revelation on how so many women in the Bible overcame barrenness. You would be surprised!

In my next few blogs I will be giving you encouraging scriptures that will help you to your next! Make sure you do a self-examination. Forgive, repent, and let go! Believe God and watch God!

Faith & Endurance: Another Level Part 1

At the beginning of March I found out that I was pregnant. I was going to the Doctor’s to have my yearly check-up. I waited about two hours in the waiting room before I was even seen. When I finally heard my name being called I was relieved. The young lady said: “hello” and then went on to say: “Mrs. Green we won’t be able to see you today.” and she proceeded taking me into her office. So I asked her why? She held her head down and said: “Your PT came back positive.” And I said: “My PT?”  She goes: “pregnancy test,” and I said are you serious? She said: “yes,” still holding her head down and so I told her that I was excited. Super excited and then she finally lifted her head and smiled. Shortly after sitting in her office she gave me proof of pregnancy and other paperwork I needed and I drove home.On my way home I was trying to figure out how to tell my husband Paul. He was already running late for Praise & Worship rehearsal due to my delay at the doctor’s office. I finally arrived at the house; he was playing with our son Zackery when I came in and the questions began. He asked: “What took them so long?” I said: “Baby there where a lot of people in the office today and they were behind.” He then said: “Well I’m late for rehearsal!”  So I looked at him and said: “Shoot I’m late too! He looked shocked and was like: “YOUR LATE, as in late late”…lol… and I said: “YES I AM…I’m pregnant!” So I started dancing in front of him. It was hilarious. After all of that we hugged and he left for rehearsal. The following week we went to Bible Study as usual. This Bible Study was a little different though. The Pastor opened up the floor for testimonies, and the whole service was just people testifying about the goodness of the Lord. So at this point only a few people knew that I was pregnant. During the service my cousin text me saying: “I got some news that Zacky is going to be a big brother!” lol… I wasn’t going to say anything, but I told my husband if he felt lead then go ahead. So eventually he raised his hand and the camera was on us. He started talking about some of the things we had went through this past year and how God was blessing us here in Tulsa. He talked about how the doctors said we couldn’t have children yet God had blessed us with Zackery and how we had just found out that we were expecting again. After he said that it was gasping and everyone was excited and clapping. After service we got lots of hugs and congratulations. It was a happy occasion. That following Sunday I was in church enjoying Praise & Worship. It was so good. I loved watching my husband worship. That’s so sexy to me. Anyways as I was standing there with my cousins who had stopped in town to visit, my lower back started hurting. So I sat down. Shortly after that I went to the restroom and there discovered that I had started spotting. I didn’t think anything of it because the same thing happened while I was pregnant with my son Zackery. When I got home from church I put my feet up. I rested for a little bit and checked again and I was still spotting. I told my husband about it and the next day I got checked. While I was waiting to be seen I heard a little girls voice say: “I’m ok mommy.” It tripped me out. My nerves were all over the place and I was trying to stay positive no matter what. The nurse finally came in with my blood test results and my HCG levels still showed that I was pregnant and I was relieved.

After that little scare, I was excited to research Home Births even more. This time around I didn’t want to have a traditional hospital delivery. I wanted to have a home birth. After some searching I came across an amazing team of midwives. They gave me all of my prenatal information that I needed, and they were always there if I had any questions at all. Late night about a week or so before my third Doppler reading, I heard the Holy Spirit say: “If you don’t hear the heartbeat, will you still believe Me?” My eyes filled up with tears and I sat in my room like are you serious?…I can only say yes, I’ll still believe you, and I heard it two more times. So needless to say, when I went to that appointment I knew that I wasn’t going to hear my baby’s heartbeat. So when my next appointment was made I got really excited because this time I would hear my baby’s heartbeat for the first time, or would I?

 My book: “A Childless Mother No More” coming soon…More details to follow.

Faith and Endurance

Imagine wanting something so bad……getting it……then LOSING it! Imagine the doctors telling you in order for you to have what you really want you have to take several pills and go through several tests….only to find out it isn’t working either. Imagine being told you can’t have children at all! This is my story of Faith and Endurance. My husband and I were extremely happy when I became pregnant in 2007. We told our families in excitement not knowing I would have a miscarriage two months later. I was heartbroken and I became depressed. I didn’t want to speak to anyone, not even my husband at times. We tried for years to get pregnant and it seemed it wasn’t going to happen. Several years had passed and still nothing. I felt like God was torturing me because everywhere I went I saw babies……not just one or two…..but at times it felt like hundreds! I didn’t want to go anywhere. In the meantime, God was working on me. I went through a lot. In 2009 there were at least 8-10 people I knew who were pregnant. All while I was waiting on God’s promise to me. At the end of 2010 into the beginning of 2011, I was taking several infertility medications and they were not working. By March of 2011, I stopped because I just couldn’t take it anymore. At this point, God told me I had to go through this, just to let me know He was in control. He then proceeded to tell me to adopt and I broke down crying at my desk saying: “But you are God, and You can do ANYTHING, why not just give me my own child.” Needless to say my husband and I struggled with this. We went back and forth and finally in September of 2011 we told God if that’s what you want then fine, we surrender! We found an adoption agency, went through the paperwork, applied for help, because it’s expensive to adopt a child. Only to find out, we were not approved. At this point, I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t even tell my husband. I wasn’t mad at God; I just couldn’t understand why He would tell us to do that and it not work. Lo and behold I was sitting in Bible study November 22, 2011, and all I heard was go and get a pregnancy test. I thought I was tripping, having one of my many moments about conceiving a child. Well, I heard it two more times. So I said, ok God I’m going to buy a pregnancy test, but if it’s negative, I’m not telling my husband! I left Bible Study and went to Walgreens got my test and then went to Papa Johns to grab a pizza. I got home, said hello to my husband, and went straight to the restroom. I took the test, waited, and before the 3 minutes were up, there were two lines and I sat there in shock and began to cry, thanking God for keeping His promise. Afterwards, I ran in my bedroom and showed it to my husband and all he said was “I hope you’re not joking!”, and I said “I’m not!” We cried in each other’s arms thanking God for what He had done. Now we have a beautiful Baby boy named Zackery Josiah Green. Zackery means God has remembered and Josiah means God will save. He was born July 27, 2012. God is truly a promise keeper!!! What I’ll leave with you all is this…..NEVER be ashamed of trusting God’s word!

Author,
Shantae Green